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In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks.: And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy
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"A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, 'You've got to be kidding me, son.' The bartender replied, 'New policy. Everyone has to show their ID.' Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II."Â
It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back.Â
In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire.
Adam Carolla is a radio and television host, comedian, and actor. He is the host of the "Adam Carolla Podcast", before which he hosted a weekday morning radio program broadcast from Los Angeles, and syndicated by CBS Radio. Besides these shows, Carolla is well known as the co-host of the radio show "Loveline" (and its television incarnation on MTV), as the co-creator and co-host of Comedy Central's The Man Show, and as the co-creator and the performer on Comedy Central and MTV's Crank Yankers and is a frequent contributor and contestant on ABC's top-rated program Dancing with the Stars. Carolla also starred in, co-wrote, and co-produced the award-winning independent film, The Hammer. He currently lives in Los Angeles with his wife and their two children.
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Audible Audiobook
Listening Length: 6 hours and 42 minutes
Program Type: Audiobook
Version: Abridged
Publisher: Random House Audio
Audible.com Release Date: November 2, 2010
Language: English, English
ASIN: B004ADRY5C
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
I'll admit, I've been an Adam Carolla fan since I heard him on Loveline and saw him on the Man Show. I was baffled when "The Adam Carolla Project" didn't turn into a multi-season show. This guy is a real man, which based off what is spewed across the various types of media in front of me, I'll assume is pretty damn rare in Hollywood these days. While it's easy to see the fruits of his labor have finally paid off for him financially, it's refreshing to see a guy who earned his level of a lifestyle still continue to do what he knows how to do instead of become another pompous a-hole with a checkbook sitting around in white shorts and dock shoes smoking a damn cigar with a sweater draped over his shoulders. Instead of crying about how hard it is to work x days a week and be rich, the man encourages people to keep working despite success and the guy leads by example in my opinion.He's funny because he's not afraid of being politically incorrect, but I doubt he sat down saying "How many topics can I talk about to sound politically incorrect." He's simply got the balls to publicly say what the few remaining real men in this world say only when they're inside their comfort zone, that is to their buddies. It's refreshing to see someone being honest by saying that he'd rather have been in the parking lot handing out cigars while his kids were being born, why white people with nothing else to worry about in life make up the majority of people who participate in fantasy sports, and why only a self entitled clown says they "rescued" a dog when they merely picked the cutest one out of the caged confines of the shelter.I titled this review as such to let you know it's worth buying a second copy to give to a buddy because in honesty, the minute you start into it you're going to want to laugh about something you read with a buddy at the bar and few of us are capable of capturing the comedy written on these pages. In the days of pirated everything, I'm sure there are a hundred sites you can steal the book from digitally out there, but I'll simply say you're not doing yourself justice going that route. I bought the paperback and I'm going to break one of Ace's rules by giving it to a friend, but only because I'm ordering the hardcover for my shelf so I can enjoy this rapidly vanishing brand of humor and honesty for years to come.Before you self righteous book critics take another attempt at slamming the book or even my review of it, remember one thing; Ace hasn't spent his life reading books let alone writing them, he's not going for a Pulitzer prize, and finally I'm not claiming to know much more than the right way to spell literary genius. I'm a damn guy who puts in his 50 hours a week, doesn't piss money away on lottery tickets looking for the big freebie from the imaginary man in the sky, and enjoys listening to Carolla's humor as suck down a beer or two while I wrench on a car or fix up my house during the 2-3 hours of free man time I'm lucky enough to have each week. If you haven't checked out his podcasts, you're missing out on the entertainment value of any chapter of this book free to your ears (and eyes) on a daily basis.
His other books are 3 stars, but this one I liked because his views of a changing world, and his rise to some prominence. He is very popular on the west coast. This reads a lot like Denis Leary's "Why We Suck" which is less of an "apostle of the obvious". Adam Carolla gets down and dirty, and pulls no punches about the "melennials" of entitlement. His taking of things that were simple and useful, and our now gone, is especially funny. Why they had to improve things, that were fine as is, is also a laugh riot. He loves his kids, and they are not spared. All are done with a fine sense of humor. Is he pissed off, yes and know. He uses some of that for effect. However, some of his critique's make sense. With all the new thinking, and new ways of doing things, are we really better off? He sets these up nicely for you, and it does make sense. Mr Carolla asks; if we are moving forward, or just complicating things that were practical, and would work forever......e.g. why do we change things for the sake of change?So many of his jibes poke fun @ overkill and annoying people who, because of the world we now live in, have absolutely zero social skills. Why should we play basketball when we can sit @ home, get fat and eat and play it on x-box ?. His observations are not anything new, but they do make you wonder about the days when you had to remember to shut your lights off in your house, close the garage door, and not do it while your @ the movies. His idea of dumbing down does make some sense. After all he says, we will become slaves to political correctness and having a 80" flat screen, with nothing but "Honey Boo Boo to watch.
I loved his book Not Taco Bell Material, so I was eager to read this next. It is a fine, light read, and has some funny passages, but it really seems like he is stretching for material - opining on everything under the sun with insights that sometimes are funny or interesting, and other times nonsensical or overbroad (e.g., his take on squirrels).He is a funny guy and it is a good bathroom reading type of book, but it seemed like he had to produce a book so was really reaching for topics. Not Taco Bell Material was far superior and truly hilarious.
This is one of the best books I've ever read. I think Adam says what many of us (more men than women, but still some women I'm sure) feel but have (understandably) become too afraid to say out loud, unless we're among very close company. This is a page turner from start to finish, and I think it really adds value that Adam explains his very humble beginnings. There are interesting stories about his past as well as numerous laugh-out-loud observations.If you're tired of the hypersensitive in this country slowly taking over what is, and isn't, ok to do and say, you'll love this book. If on the other hand you're easily offended, you should also read this book. It may just help you get over yourself and probably toughen up a bit.The problem I have with many/most books is that they have no "replay" value. Once you've read them, there's no joy to be had in re-reading them. Not the case with this book. There is no filler here, and I can easily see starting it over at some point in the relatively near future.The book isn't just funny though. It's not just a bunch of wisecracks for the sake of being wisecracky. Plenty of what's in here is thought-provoking as well. (Not in a stuffy, pretentious way though.)This book's been out for awhile and he has another book out too (Not Taco Bell Material). I didn't find the NTBM to be anywhere near as good as this one (sorry Adam). It's not bad, it's just not on the level as this one. But here's hoping that there's a #3 book on the way. Although I'm not sure what's left to rant about. But hopefully he'll think of something.(Oh, and the front/back cover photo is pretty hilarious too.)
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